I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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