so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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