I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
