his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
