i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
