were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
