just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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