Nicole vs. Life
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕