i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES