yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
