i think my tv is drunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
