i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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