I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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