I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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