I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
