so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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