I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
