I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i dont even know how to be here
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
