and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
