The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
