don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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