I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
