Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
where are you?
Hypothermia
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
