yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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