I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
