his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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