return my video game
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
