Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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