Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize