He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
