If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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