I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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