I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
