We're facebook friends in real life
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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