Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
