i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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