So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize