u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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