Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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