Only a mothe r could love this liver
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
