the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
