Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
