my mouth tastes like poor choices
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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