Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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