sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
