i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
