i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think i have herpe
just one?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
