This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
