My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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