Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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