he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My dick has a subreddit
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
