dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
there's paper in my vomit.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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