some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
