So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize