Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You are a genius and a whore.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
