Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I believe in your delicious
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
